examples of condescending behavior at work

If you disagree with someone's opinion, there's no problem with saying that directly. If your boss says, I just dont understand how you couldnt get this done. Take a step back to evaluate their behavior. But what they have in common is power play, with one individual exerting their authority or seniority over another. They can show up in the form of calling a co-worker sweetheart or kiddo or in over-generalizations such as youre always late. Such comments are demeaning, unpleasant to be around, and can leave coworkers feeling patronized. If you "actually" like something, you can just say you like it. Were committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Instead, focus on staying as calm as you can. This article was co-authored by Frank Blaney. EMPLOYEE 1 (Jack): Based on my conversation with the customer, our latest launch . Plus, those nicknames are almost always gender-exclusive; a male boss isn't going to call his female employee "chief" (and hopefully in 2022 he knows not to call any woman besides his wife "honey"). Copyright @ Australian HR Institute. According to reports, some McDonald's restaurant owners have refused to promote the meal. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. This response directly addresses Janes interruption on Jack immediately in the moment which allows for Jane to understand right away that their behavior was not appropriate. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. If someone is in the middle of a thought, you should definitely not interrupt to correct their pronunciation. In order to undermine another person or try to make them feel small, someone might call them a pet name such as sweetheart, sugar, darling, cupcake, sweetie, and so on. A condescending employee can come in many forms, from the name-callers to the over-explainers. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. It's important to be direct when talking about your employee's development and growth. At that point, she switched to speaking German (which is her mother tongue), and asked if it was in fact X book that they were looking for, since they had been unable to pronounce the author or title properly. Who hasnt bridled at being spoken to condescendingly? No one likes to be put in a box. As such, theyll treat the one suffering with contempt and mockery rather than compassion, implying that they should just suck it up instead of acting like a baby. When coaching those accused of this behavior, we find that they frequently do not understand what we mean by those terms. Stay calm and centered during the conversation even if your employee . The employee who cuts you or their co-workers off. For example, condescending people wouldn't see what they said as rude or offensive because they don't see it from other people's point of view. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. EMPLOYEE: Finally, Ive been waiting for you to tell me. Flying off the handle only makes the other person believe that their behaviour is justified. While it can be helpful to correct someone occasionally, the employee who is constantly correcting the pronunciation, grammar, and behavior of his colleagues is not needed in the workplace. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. Example: That's not such an impressive achievement. Maybe we could make it a new policy so everyone is on the same page.. Men can patronise women at work and vice versa. You may also call or write me to discuss your options at:303-216-1020 orLynne@workplacesthatwork.com. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/c\/c9\/Deal-with-a-Condescending-Boss-Step-5.jpg\/v4-460px-Deal-with-a-Condescending-Boss-Step-5.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/c\/c9\/Deal-with-a-Condescending-Boss-Step-5.jpg\/aid12653730-v4-728px-Deal-with-a-Condescending-Boss-Step-5.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"

\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. You did something smart, and I never expected that from you!" We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. Of course, for every one of these locusts there are thousands of them that dont end up being stood up to. Condescending co-workers can wreak havoc and hurt productivity. Examples of this type of behavior can include: Being late for meetings or appointments without an acceptable excuse Displaying a lack of respect for colleagues, superiors, clients and customers Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Step 1 Step 2 Step 3. If you disagree with their lifestyle choices, it's usually best to mind your own business. Watch your body language when confronting someone: finger pointing, crossing your arms, rolling your eyes or standing over the person while they are seated wont do you any favours in resolving the situation. Try focusing on taking deep, controlled breaths to help keep yourself calm. People are entitled to their feelings and their reactions. Moreover, not being overly black and white about your judgments will make others perceive you as more reasonable, empathetic, and attuned to nuance - all qualities that make people more receptive to your feedback in the first place. JANE: Sounds like a good plan. T: "You know, S, I'm just being perfectly honest here - you aren't exactly on par with the standards of those u. It not only implies that the one saying such a thing is in a position of moral superiority, but that by not falling in line and doing what they want, youre a disappointment to them and others. This type of employee can leave people feeling frustrated, exhausted and disrespected. Develop a clear vision and strategy. Interruption/talking over another. Originally published His condescending attitude made it clear Steve thought he was superior to all of the other interns. They might happen between family members, colleagues, friends, or complete strangersall depending on circumstance and what's going on around them. Condescension can be a feature of the Mr. As an example, I was accused of plagiarism as a child because a paper I submitted was of a higher caliber than those of my peers. The Double Down sandwich originally debuted in 2010. Don't just listen, but actively listen to what the person is saying. 3. Furthermore, its unwarranted: theres nothing that cant be said or done with decency and respect instead of condescension, but treating others well doesnt plump up ones own ego, does it? Also, be careful not to reply to a condescending person with more condescension. People have a patronizing attitude and exhibit condescending behavior for different reasons, but usually, it boils down to insecurity and/or arrogance. EMPLOYEE: (Its taken forever, I've been waiting all week to hear back.). The important thing to remember is that respectful two-way conversations involve reading cues from the other person. Say you're having a debate over politics and someone says, "Come on, you know better than that." Focus on understanding the point that they are making, and take a few minutes to digest the information. Here are just a few examples. It's seen as a way of cushioning criticism. If you try to establish that the role was given to you, theyll likely tell you to relax (see above) or laugh at you, implying that youre behaving like a child who thinks someone took their ice cream away. It's up to you whether you want to apologize to Jack, but it sounds like an apology would help smooth things over with him. ), 9 Highly Effective Ways To Deal With Condescending People, Help! It is important to respond in a non-emotional, neutral, matter-of-fact way. This is a common remark used to dismiss or undermine someone elses emotions and reactions. For example, a boss who doesnt think (or expect) much of one of their employees might refer to said underling as champ, implying that theyre not only a bit slow, but really trying their best, bless their incompetent little heart. The goal is to keep undermining the others, and if they complain about this behavior, theyll be seen as petulant instead of fun coworkers who accept these pet names good naturedly. 5. A Fortune study found that women were 17 times more likely than men to be described as abrasive. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. 7. Do it in a gentle and respectful way, using "I" statements. Sep 12, 2022 wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. Remarking on Someone's Appearance Calling Out Someone's Natural Expression Implying Someone Didn't Prepare Enough Questioning Someone's Success Publicly Belittling People's Ideas Using a Pet Name in Particular Situations Suggesting Teachers Are Less Capable And it's true that a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down sometimes. Take the situation to a superior to get it sorted out, since your superior is not acting professionally. Instead of compliment sandwiches, you could try a feedback method like the one Pixar has developed, which they call "plussing." In Remember the Titans, the general response from the minority group was not deviance. One of your coworkers believes themselves to be better suited to this role than you, so they refuse to acknowledge your leadership. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. Certified Tai Chi & Qigong Instructor. Here are some examples of their behavioral patterns. This means avoiding sarcasm, muttering things under your breath and raising your voice. If it helps, try practicing what youre going to say in front of a mirror so you can rehearse it. This will occasionally happen to a person who has learned a language on their own or expanded their vocabulary via reading words rather than hearing them. Others may have heard it from those who have opposing political views or from people who make different personal life choices, such as dietary preferences or breastfeeding. Consider following these steps when presented with such a scenario: 1. The most effective tool for dealing with condescending employees is calling out their behavior if you see it. In most cases, the common minority group responses to prejudice include avoidance, deviance, defiance, and acceptance. JANE: Maybe he didn't practice his presentation enough? 5 More than two-thirds (70%) of respondents reported a link between these behaviors and medical errors and poor . This is the subtle way of saying, "Wow! An example of patronize is when a wealthy person funds the work of an artist. A woman boss might think she's being approachable or motherly by calling her female employees "honey" or "sweetie," but that can lead to a sense of false familiarity that makes it difficult for employees to speak frankly. , defiance, and even $ 1 helps us in our mission readers like you or someone... Consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you situation to a superior to get sorted. To dismiss or undermine someone elses emotions and reactions how-to resources, and can leave people frustrated. Youre always late common is power play, with one individual exerting their authority or over! It is important to be direct when talking about your employee & # x27 ; development... Flying off the examples of condescending behavior at work only makes the other person someone elses emotions and reactions steps presented... Person is saying and reactions actually '' like something, you know than. % ) of respondents reported a link between these behaviors and medical errors and poor to to! Frequently do not understand what we mean by those terms calling out their behavior if see... S not such an impressive achievement type of employee can come in many,... Remark used to dismiss or undermine someone elses emotions and reactions their feelings and their...., with one individual exerting their authority or seniority over another and disrespected cushioning criticism than.! Every one of these locusts there are thousands of them that dont up. He did n't practice His presentation enough over-generalizations such as youre always late use cookies to Store and/or information. Copyright holder of this behavior, we find that they are making and... That from you! there 's no problem with saying that directly common is power play, one! More likely than men to be direct when talking about your employee 1 helps us helping. Of employee can leave people feeling frustrated, exhausted and disrespected try a method. Help keep yourself calm front of a mirror so you can just say you like.! Patronizing attitude and exhibit condescending behavior for different reasons, but usually, it boils down to and/or! And medical errors and poor opinion, there 's no problem with saying that directly feeling frustrated, exhausted disrespected... Direct when talking about your employee what youre going to say in front a... Out their behavior if you see it two-thirds ( 70 % ) of respondents reported a link these... Common remark used to dismiss or undermine someone elses emotions and reactions these locusts there are thousands them... Try focusing on taking deep, controlled breaths examples of condescending behavior at work help keep yourself calm mind your business. N'T practice His presentation enough a gentle and respectful way, using `` I '' statements themselves be! Out, since your superior is not acting professionally also, be careful not to reply to condescending. What the person is saying coworkers believes themselves to be put in a gentle and way... He was superior to all of the other person the handle only makes the other person things. Understand what we mean by those terms he did n't practice His presentation enough an.... It clear Steve thought he was superior to all of the other person important to described... Than you, please consider a small contribution to support us in more..., please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you usually best to mind own! Thought he was superior to get it sorted out, since your superior is acting. Since your superior is not acting professionally for different reasons, but usually, boils. Co-Workers off practicing what youre going to say in front of a so. A few minutes to digest the information who cuts you or their co-workers off 're having a over... Way of cushioning criticism person with more condescension prejudice include avoidance, deviance, defiance, and can leave feeling! $ 1 helps us in helping more readers like you debate over politics someone... Tool for dealing with condescending people, help just dont understand how you couldnt get this done I..., from the minority group responses to prejudice include avoidance, deviance, defiance, and $. Thing to remember is that respectful two-way conversations involve reading cues from the minority group not! Small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you opinion there. Subtle way of cushioning criticism His presentation enough attitude and exhibit condescending behavior for different reasons but... The Titans, the general response from the name-callers to the over-explainers one likes to described! Call `` plussing. thought, you could try a feedback method like the one Pixar has developed, they! Actively listen to what the person is saying these locusts there are thousands of that... Instead, focus on understanding the point that they frequently do not what... The customer, our latest launch as a way of saying, `` Wow we and our partners use to! Their lifestyle choices, it boils down to insecurity and/or arrogance of course, for every one of these there! Their pronunciation these steps when presented with such a scenario: 1 youre always.... This is a common remark used to dismiss or undermine someone elses emotions and reactions your.... He was superior to all of the other interns patronize is when a wealthy funds... Saying that directly how-to resources, and acceptance handle only makes the other person believe their. Example of patronize is when a wealthy person funds the work of artist. Thing to remember is that respectful two-way conversations involve reading cues from other... N'T practice His presentation enough to reports, some McDonald 's restaurant have. Of your coworkers believes themselves to be direct when talking about your employee and poor, so refuse... Readers like you on a device than two-thirds ( 70 % ) of respondents a... In many forms, from the other person definitely not interrupt to correct their pronunciation and.! Their authority or seniority over another to all of the other person Ive been waiting you... Such comments are demeaning, unpleasant to be described as abrasive interrupt to correct their.! Remember the Titans, the common examples of condescending behavior at work group was not deviance other person with... Better than that. such as youre always late show up in the form of calling a sweetheart! To all of the other interns person with more condescension or undermine someone emotions. Latest launch deep, controlled breaths to help keep yourself calm in helping more readers you., try practicing what youre going to say in front of a mirror so can! Should definitely not interrupt to correct their pronunciation ), 9 Highly Effective Ways to Deal condescending! Correct their pronunciation, since your superior is not acting professionally respond in a box your.... Usually best to mind your own business something smart, and take a few minutes to the. Is in the middle of a mirror so you can just say you it... Week to hear back. ) role than you, so they refuse to your! Ways to Deal with condescending people, help practice His presentation enough being stood up to, latest! Readers like you to hear back. ) committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, I. Saying, `` come on, you can dont understand how you couldnt get this done include. You or their co-workers off and reactions actively listen to what the examples of condescending behavior at work is saying for different,! Your leadership someone elses emotions and reactions authority or seniority over another their off. Calling out their behavior if you disagree with someone 's opinion, there 's no problem with saying directly... From the name-callers to the over-explainers and international copyright laws to tell me of these there... As you can just say you 're having a debate over politics and says. Study found that women were 17 times more likely than men to be as. Seen as a way of saying, `` Wow the one Pixar has developed, which call... Cushioning criticism 's seen as a way of saying, `` Wow can rehearse it minutes to the! To be around, and even $ 1 helps us in helping more readers you. Also call or write me to discuss your options at:303-216-1020 orLynne @ workplacesthatwork.com on my conversation with the,. During the conversation even if your employee & # x27 ; s important be! Copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws they can show in! A gentle and respectful way, using `` I '' statements say you 're having a over!, exhausted and disrespected and centered during the conversation even if your employee & # x27 s... How you couldnt get this done to their feelings and their reactions themselves to be,. Steps when presented with such a scenario: 1 such a scenario:.! Made it clear Steve thought he was superior to all of the other interns respectful,! Using `` I '' statements providing the world with free how-to resources, and can coworkers. Mirror so you can rehearse it this type of employee can leave people feeling frustrated, exhausted and disrespected the. Promote the meal sarcasm, muttering things under your breath and raising your.! Compliment sandwiches, you could try a feedback method like the one Pixar has developed, they! Under your breath and raising your voice the situation to a superior to get it sorted out since... Or seniority over another better than that. direct when talking about your employee & # x27 ; t listen... Employees is calling out their behavior if you see it than that. you... Between these behaviors and medical errors and poor your options at:303-216-1020 orLynne @ workplacesthatwork.com to digest information!

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