It is one of the leading causes of bad reactions from an ex. if he has GIG it will take some time for him to realise his mistake, keep going with your 45 day LNC. He talked about maybe how things annoyed him that he hasnt spoke of but wouldnt tell me what they were. This way he can test the water and then say oh I thought we broke up. U just throws me out whenever u want, end things whenever u want, u decided all this on ur own n just declares the decision on me. Dont be so quick to conclude that he has erased you from his mind. So, your ex doesnt want you to be happy after he breaks your heart? After we split within two weeks he started dating someone else who he is still with. So what should you do? He been calling and shouting for three days, I been responding but he is increasinngly rude. I have just started NC for 30 days with a guy who is dealing with a lot of stuff & while deep down I believe he loves me as he will come back when he is feeling better and remembers nostalgic memories/things Ive told him from the time weve known each other but when things are bad for him he goes in self-sabotage, self-destruct and generally hates everyone and everything. Thats just his way to get you to text him. You remember the chemistry of our brain and all of the precious memories that are shared between you and your ex. His Snapchat number has been going up everyday all day in large amounts all of a sudddn which leads me to believe hes talking to someone else . And while your ex's feelings toward you . He texted rarely for 2-3 times and that also he would say that he wanted to have sex with me. If hes tired of being with you, then doing no contact is your way of respecting his decision. Sometimes it is up to you to reach out and form that emotional attachment. Your email address will not be published. So I guess if Chris is the Ex Recovery Whisperer, then that makes me the Ex Recovery Listener! And by the way, before I expand on this topic, let me remind you that the success of No Contact is not solely predicated on him reaching out to your first. Unfortunately, most women dont realize that fact. Required fields are marked *. This is especially true when it comes to men who are extremely stubborn. I know and understand your fears and insecurities. Do you think theres a way back for us? Its sort of a self toxic form of behavior. This little tug to regain his freedom will likely start first in his unconscious mind, but soon it will work its way to his conscious thinking. But there is a caveat to my advice! He was supposed to come back the next day after hunting . When we came back he spent the night at my place but the day after he went home . I took promise again to not lie n hide but to tell me. thanks so much! You feel friend zoned. He remembers how things were before. You know, go out with friends and family? We had few text in the first 10 day then I have been silent for the last. How on earth does letting him go, take away one of his freedoms? But the program is here to give you, your best chance of getting him back, Hi, Im on day 27 of no contact and Im starting to panic. I didnt called him again. I tried to reconcile with no avail. I unfriended him on social media but no from friends that he hardly posts anything, even though he was very active before. Why do you think I want you to be the one to make the first move no matter what? No calls receiving after that. I cheated on him with an ex lover for about the second to last month if our relationship . He has a very busy job and is doing other projects outside of work so tends to be busy. Here is the deal though. Or it definitely etely over for him? Finally when I did I was so upset and he was so drunk and being weird . And getting upset over this. Dont ever think that its not. And so the most sensible conclusion he might be able to come up with is that youre just not ready to open up yet. He hasnt texted me though, and I want to get him back. N yeah he said no friendship but for work we hv to be in contCt, as I am not stopping working with you., in the name of work, he wants to be in contact. Besides there are actually a few big advantages to making the first move. I said sorry to ignore her one day I talked to her n said, he lied to me for others, he left me, I cnt talk you to I am sorry. (This msg was on 21 March. ) It wants what it wants and eventually it wore my pride down and a few days later I sent that message. hi Lily, you broke NC once you answered his text, you need to go 30 days SOLID no speaking with your ex to complete a successful NC and in that time you work on yourself. What unfriending but Read more. The response to what do to when an ex reaches out during no contact will depend on the nature of the breakup, how things developed, and the mistakes that have been made He wouldnt talk to me at first when he found out . However from that point on the relationship deteriorated. At first I begged her to stay and I told her how I felt about her but she said it was too late. If you get an ultimatum like this, it shows you two things. After 23 days he asked so its done right? He began hanging out more at my house, not being very considerate to me and my kids. The no contact rule was born from this type of thinking. And if you have been together for a long time, again, I think it is entirely likely that you are letting your imagination run. One can argue that in such a situation, this would mean your ex moved on from your previous relationship. We ended it on the phone with no begging or pleading, just disappointment that this has been taken out of our hands and theres nothing we can do about it and now we are going into another lockdown. Well, you probably threw a tantrum. But hey, I was young and I didnt know how to handle my emotions. If the No Contact Period is over and he has not messaged you, what should you do? From the beginning, we had an interesting relationship in the way that she came out to me as being gay/lesbian. Youve been clear. Secondly, you cant just sit around and expect no contact to do all the work. Even if hes the one who broke up with you, he will hurt because it doesnt erase the fact that hes still use to you being around. N few days later he called off the friendship too, he said now there is no friendship between us, at this point I lost it, n shouted back, what m I to you? Hi Babs, to block you is an emotional reaction. Allow your ex time to process things and avoid inserting any pressure into the situation. But that we can be friends and see each other when none of the kids are around. It could be due to the possibility that the break up was a really bad one. Well, one thing that you can automatically assume is that a guy who doesnt contact you during the no contact period always has a bit of stubbornness to him. etc. Just tell him you need time for yourself and when youre ready, youll reach out. Hello! What often happens when people hold their feelings in? Wondered if you could advise. Better to stay away if he doesnt reach out! All these things will affect your emotions and your thoughts. But look at it this way, if he choose to go chasing after someone after only a week or two, that says a lot about his maturity and level of commitment. It can also be used to detach yourself from a narcissistic or abusive partner. The fact you cheated is going to have hurt him to make him angry and not trust you, which is why a full No Contact is really important to give him time to get over what happened. So lets say that after all of your efforts, nothing happens. Thus, many women feel almost entitled when it comes to men talking to them. Make them all count. He should have called me 2 days tops to say he was sorry for hanging up and clearly not caring ! She said she hoped I would understand where she was coming from and she could not keep coming to this point. But my experience in these matters has taught me that often these other relationships an ex will get involved in are short term. I found out his video calls to his ex( for whole he left me) again fight, blaming me for not understanding the importance of time, and work. I love your site, been viewing since 2016. My boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me about a month ago . Im not sure if I should reach out as I sent the last message which didnt require a reply but he never replied to. Their status messages are going to show up on your news feed. I was fine without the commitment part, I just wanted him back. So take things slow. I stopped bugging him and texting him throughout this time . That which they are told they cant have, will hold even more attraction to them. Oh and he hasnt called to ask for his clothes which I fear he will do . Im miserable that I have tried to implement NC so many times and doing it yet again. And also look into different living situations so you are not living together long term while broken up. I am not ur enemy? Ok days passes. If he flips out because of a group picture or something similar, then he needs to learn to chill out. You can still love someone but still know that they are not a good person to be in a relationship with, you are hurt by what has happened and that takes time to get over and then when you move past the hurt you are left with the loving feelings you had for that person. But when my dad reached out again he didnt call him back or text him back. To change the way he thinks about a lot of things, your guy will need to come to terms with why you broke up with him, if that is the way it went down. Ex unfriended me during no contact Why Did My Ex Unfriend Me But Not Block Me? I have seen a lot of people with that attitude fail but I have also seen a lot of people with that attitude succeed. And it happens. My bf and I were together over 6 years. We are talking the power of human physiology and the chemicals coursing through our brains! I am trying so so hard to push past my urges not to message him. No contact helps YOU get over it is more like it. We both spent a very good time together. He may think a lot of things, including that you have possibly moved on. (If you want the more in-depth explanation of what it is and how to properly do it I suggest you read this article pronto.). Like may be ur bad mouthing about me. Hes gone abroad so I am implementing the no contact for the week hes away. After that he went home So he wonders why you suddenly changed with him. That is how I see it. If he chose to pursue a rebound relationship, thats a reflection of his character. If you reply, he may end up playing a game of not responding to you to get the upper hand. (It was hurtful) on 18 feb he shouted again, a lot ofthings in which he cursed me saying,you wont live happy ever.. N many other things. Im good overall . I am a woman trying to get my ex girlfriend back so I was not sure which of your websites to use. We had been seeing each other since the end of last year and all was going great until Corona hit. Well, according to studies, it generally takes about 66 days to make or break a habit or create a new routine. However, after your 30 days are completed he hasnt contacted you and you are left feeling pretty depressed. After the initial relief your ex will feel right after the breakup, the next stages of no contact (usually after a one to three weeks) put your ex in a stage of curiosity. Why Did My Ex Unfriend Me But Not Block Me? Just the thought of another woman can drive you crazy. He could be trying to fill a vacuum in his life. When you ignore someone with the intent of making them want to talk to you more and instead they dont talk to you at all. Start no contact as soon as you can. They will sit around and say, Hes going to have to text ME first if he wants a date with me.. If i reach out (god knows i do), he will think that he is right and im wrong and it will make the relationship worse. NC 2 months. You just initiated the no contact rule immediately after the break up. He asks favors and of course you do them wholeheartedly. It just so happens that the time I did look at her profile she was online and I remember I blew her phone up angry that she was ignoring me. If a man really cared he wouldnt take 12 days to contact you . I would like to take a look at what could possibly be going on in his mind if he takes a really long time to contact you. Have a Pinterest account so, you can explore and learn about projects or topics you love. Your boyfriend, who was always the focus of your attentionthe guy you looked forward to seeing, talking to, and texting withnow suddenly is no longer in your life. The purpose of the no contact rule is not to get your ex-girlfriend back. Welcome to the 21st century where everything and everyone is online! Im just now starting the no contact rule. He may still be angry with you or terribly hurt. And it allows you to maintain your dignity and leave the conversation in a position of power. When I asked him if he was gonna stay with me during the storm , he said no Nd stop trying to make me feel bad ! It could be that they want to keep tabs on you, or they're hoping to get back together with you one day. It might even take a a year or even a couple of years in very extreme cases. Yeah, what if the ex chooses to do that after one week of no contact and then just ignored you all throughout the remaining days of your no contact?. He also has a lot going on in his life right now, so I understand, but I was always there for him through it all so It hurt when he said he didnt want to be in relationship at all. Here recently, she has been really busy with her schooling and me with work that we began to drift apart. When a person perceives that they are losing a freedom.something they are use to having.they will behave in a way to get it back. Because it is these same women who come back with their tail between their legs when their ex boyfriend doesnt contact them at all saying that: I tried this and it didnt work.. What do I do now??????. Dont respond or try to explain. A couple of days later he broke up with me, saying my refusal hurt the love he had for me. I should know, because I read and answer so many of the comments that you leave on the website. Dont be in a hurry to rush back into the fire if there has not been sufficient time for you both to heal. First though, I would like to take the spotlight off of him for a while and talk about YOU. I then sent another one and he still hasnt People have a tendency to only remember the bad stuff about the relationships towards the end. No "accidental" meetings. Good to hear the program is working to make yourself your best version of yourself keep going! So you dont want him thinking you have moved on and that his name is dead to you forever. jim martin death couples massage class san diego beaver falls football ex unfriended me during no contact. Should You Go No Contact With Your Situationship? But he didnt listen to me. We werent arguing much and I havent been able to understand his reasoning behind it. Avoid reacting to what you think he is doing. Remember, this is not a one way street irrespective of how he is acting or saying or behaving. But he backfires me, n said no friendship I was very happy with you, but no more, if ur not a joke then I am also not a joke, I said why u r doing like this what has happened I hvnt asked you about her from a long time now. The next thing I do is answer as many comments on this site as possible. So I gave him one last hug, and said I hope your happy. I guess the two go hand and hand dont they? We were in a long distance relationship. My boyfriend ended our 5 and a half year relationship by saying he wasnt happy. First, it shows that some of the personal power has shifted to you. I have promised myself not to look at his things. While it is always important to find that delicate balance between logic and emotions it is also important to remember that the mere fact that your ex is trying to get back at you through the use of his silence means he is feeling emotions. Perhaps he needs time and his so called freedom to sort things. You should not have to constantly fret over your ex boyfriend recovery plan going sour. Youve ended a romantic relationship and it hurts. Then I will send them to you, I didnt respond, so he called. Question What if he comes to your house during no contact? When he broke up with me, he said it was because he felt like he was not good enough for me since most of our problems were his fault. I know that was an incredibly weird picture for me to paint right now but the point I am trying to make here is that your ex boyfriend knows that deep down HIS silence will hurt you and its his only way of getting back at you without actually seeming crazy. If your ex is constantly viewing your profile and posts, it might be time to take action and block them . I did my best that Id take care of everything and it would not affect him. He tried jobs but that didnt pay him well and was also not satisfied doing those jobs. Ok, well maybe thats a bit dramatic but I think you get the point right! You see, men and women are very similar in many respects. Thank you. I replied the next morning saying I enjoyed it too and said have a good day. Well, if you have not done so yet, this is the time for you to send him a great initial contact message. He broke up 3 weeks ago. Chris gives you lots of examples in his books and guides. Hi Dianna, on the off chance they appear at your door. You have embarked on the no contact rule and you are feeling pretty darn good about yourself. How Do You Know If Your Ex Is Happy With Someone Else? How Does The Dumper Feel After A Month Of No Contact? You have managed your expectations about him reaching out during NC but you are a human being after all and you cant help but wonder why he has been silent on his end for 10 days straight. And among the lessons learned, you are told you need to carefully consider the No Contact Rule. Let him be. My ex left me for grass is greener and I am in day 23 of no contact. I didnt respond. Him: damn I really fucked up. He said u want gap, ok I will give u gap, again him calling me, me picking up, talking normal n at some one she gets angry ( he is going through very bad phase but that first allow him to say all this n do all this, u r in a bad phase I am with you, just stopped fuckingg ur sister or if u cant, stopped pretending in front of. I want you to think about something for a moment. 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